Drabble: For Me
by AdmHawthorne
Summary: Angsty Drabble. Maura and Jane say their final piece to each other. Probably satisfying if you're frustrated with how Maura's character was treated in S5.


*******WARNING: Angsty********

**Characters aren't mine. They belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, Turner Broadcasting, Warner Brothers, and other assorted important people. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.**

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"If you want to continue to use the house, please feel free," Maura called out as she continued to inventory the boxes neatly stacked and tagged in her empty living room. "I can have the furniture I've been keeping in storage brought in to fill the space." She glanced up from her iPad and gave a small smile. "You remember that furniture, don't you Jane? I had it in the previous house."

"Yeah, I remember," the other woman replied, still feeling stunned. "So, you're really leaving?"

"Yes, Jane, I told you over a month ago I was moving to D.C." The older woman returned to her list, double checking each box listed and making sure the contents of each was correct on her list. "It's an excellent opportunity to work with a man who is in the top of my field. I'd be foolish to turn it down."

"But why do you have move? Why can't you just… I don't know." The brunette threw her hands up in frustration. "Rent an apartment for a little bit or something?"

"I'm giving up my position here in Boston." Maura sighed heavily, tired of having the same conversation they'd had at least three times already. "I'll no longer be the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth. There's no reason for me to maintain residence here when I'll actually be living in Washington, D.C. I've offered this house to you and your family, but, if you don't want to use it, that's fine. My alternative plan is to transition it into a rental property."

Jane grunted like a five year old denied their candy before dinner. "But, Maura, you know they'd hold this job for you while you went off to study with what's-his-face. You don't have to give up everything you have here just to…" 

"I'm not sacrificing or giving up anything." Slowly closing her eyes, Maura took in a deep breath and gradually released it. "My friends are people I care for and care for me and are, I would hope, people who are happy for me that this opportunity has come up. My work is my life's passion, and this is a chance not only to learn from one of the best medical examiners in the profession but to become his protégé with the chance to one day take over. Jane," she glanced around the box filled room, "where do I go in my career if I remain where I am?" She shrugged. "At this point, I'm your shadow. Yes, I'm a well-respected medical examiner, and, yes, I can still accomplish great things if I remain in Boston, but look at what I'd be sacrificing if I _didn't _go to D.C. Look at what you're asking me to give up. Why would you do that? You know how important my work is to me."

"I'm not… it's not that I _don't_ want you to… Maura…" Jane sighed, running a hand through her hair as she slumped against the kitchen island. "You're not my shadow. You're my friend, and my coworker."

"I'm going. I'm doing this for me. I'm not going to run away from something or avoid some issue in my life. I'm not going because I'm afraid of some situation here in Boston or because I'm angry with someone here. I'm going because this is what's best for me, Jane. This time, I'm putting my needs and wants before yours or anyone else's because, ultimately, my needs and wants are important, too."

She let the hand holding the iPad drop to her side with a jerk as she stiffened her posture and straightened her shoulders. "I've given up much over the years, and it's time for me to retake some of that. For example, I offered my home when your family needed a safe place, and it became your family's home where I happened to be instead of my home where you were welcomed. My privacy has become all but nonexistent. My preferences for everything from how I organize my items to how and why I make purchases with _my _money are no longer the only preferences I feel obligated to take note of whenever I do anything in my home anymore. I put Bass in a zoo because of your…."

"If this is about space, Maura, I can make Ma leave you alone." Jane took a step forward, emboldened by the idea she may have found a way to get the other woman to stay. "I can sit her down and explain to her that…"

"No, Jane, it's not just about space. It's about me. It's about me knowing who _I _am without questioning if it's approved by you and your family. I find myself second guessing things that, at one time, I wouldn't have given extra thought to, such as whether or not I should buy a pair of shoes or purchase a book." Maura gave a small, curt shake of her head. "This is about me redefining my personal parameters and getting back to the things that made me feel like me. I like having friends. I appreciate being accepted, but I'm tired of being background noise to your everyday situations." With her free hand, she tapped herself lightly on the chest for emphasis. "I can be my own person, and I'd like to be again. To sound extremely cliché, Jane, it's not you; it's me."

"You make it sound like we're breaking up or something," the brunette quipped, though the playfulness was lost in the thickness in her throat.

"Perhaps," the doctor replied sadly. "The movers will be here in an hour. I need to finish this inventory. I'll give you two weeks to decide about the house. I'll need an answer by then so I can either make arrangements to allow your family continual usage or to begin the process to turn it into a rental property."

"Yeah," Jane weakly nodded. Clearing her throat, she blinked back a few tears as she looked around the hollowed out space. "Okay. I'll just… let you get back to it, and I'll let you know about the house."

"Thank you, Jane," Maura indifferently replied while she continued to look over her list, not bothering to look up as the front door closed with a quiet click.


End file.
